brandylyn_kay

I just want to say that no matter what happens or where life takes us I want you to know I will always choose you. You are my history and you are my future. You are my partner and friend for life. I love you, and I need to let you know that more often. More so than the impatience & eye rolling, anyway.

I am all in. I know you are too. We will make this happen together.

Hope to sneak in a smooch or two tomorrow morning. ;)

( Nicole's 1st Birthday Party! )

for the past week, i have been totally moody and unhappy. ever since the 12hour work last monday, i've not really been myself. i get tired easily, getting angry over little things. and i've been having nightmares about work! it always involved my supervisor and me quarelling with her. wtf. why so serious? until have nightmares? in those nightmares i kept asking for the resignation form lol. i so badly wanna quit i guess. but i cant. i just cant. the pay for me as a part-timer is too good to quit. i even skipped work today lol.. i'm just too lazy and cant be bothered anymore. anyway, do u know now the male RAs must go fetch the shopping trolleys from the carpark. omg extra work. zzz


another thing thats been bothering me, is that psoriasis is coming back to the sole of my feet. it really sucks. the doctor told me that it reappeared because of the immense stress that im going through right now. yeah. and now i cant even step properly, have to step halfway as in not having the sole touching the ground or else those little bumps on the sole of my feet would hurt. i hope it will be gone soon man. i cant handle it i really cant. i just feel like giving up now. i can truly say i'm depressed. sigh


more info on psoriasis:


"The cause of psoriasis is not known, but it is believed to have a genetic component. Several factors are thought to aggravate psoriasis. These include stress, excessive alcohol consumption, and smoking. Individuals with psoriasis may suffer from depression and loss of self-esteem. As such, quality of life is an important factor in evaluating the severity of the disease. There are many treatments available but because of its chronic recurrent nature psoriasis is a challenge to treat."


HOLY SHIT i just surfed the net for more info on pustular psoriasis (the one i'm having) and wow some of the pics are damn extreme man. well i can be counted lucky cos my one is like 10000000x less gross than that i saw from the pics. wow.

Dear Pearlene, Charmaine Chua, Jeremy, Renyi and Joanne...

Do take care and have all the fun you can over there! =D

You'll all be dearly missed in Singapore. =)

...................


YESSSS WE GOT A SILVER MEDAL FOR WOMEN'S TEAM TABLE TENNIS! =D

No matter what everyone else says about our players being imports,

I'm still proud of them and the medal they earned for Singapore. =)

So anyway, I've pretty much survived this week. I've been house sitting again for friends...and actually not really babysitting, just hanging out with their eldest son who's a teen and had to stay in town for band camp. Not so hard. We just hung out, played video games, walked the dog, I supervised as he made dinner & didn't burn down the house. Steven couldn't get off work for my sister's bridal shower party, so I had Chris tag along with me. It was fun just going along with it when people asked if he was my kid. ;)

My sister's shower was a big hit, really just a big party for everyone with roast pig, plenty to eat and drink and wall to wall Hawaiian themed kitschy goodness. I took lots of pictures. Maybe I'll get to post later.

I did talk again to A. Glad she checked in just to check in today. Don't have so many misgivings as before but I'll still be careful & cool. Must show her notebook with composed guest list Monday.

Tomorrow is church, leaving the house we're currently at and then shopping for a gift for my friend Deanna who's birthday we are celebrating on Monday.

Our lives seem to be one long party, don't they? It's nice when there's a little boring now and then to break the monotony of all this fun! LOL Phbt.

So, I'm about to head upstairs to take a shower and finish packing a few things. I had to go to the store to pick up a few things for the trip and I could not be more excited. I have packed both Vampire Transgression and Crackpot to read. I was thinking about bringing the copy of Sandman Vol. 1 I got but it is really too bulky to bring along on a trip like this. I will post a review of A dirty Job when I get home. It really was an amusing read! I will be returning Sunday but there is talk about leaving on Friday. Either way I am excited!

p .s.
i want a muthafuckin soft taco supreme.
hold the tomatoes.

 so i guess i thought things never got interesting at work,
that everything was just so boring, a mean call here and there but nothing ever really that dramatic.
that all changed today, i know most know i work at a car dealership as a receptionist, but just in case you didnt i wanted to refresh your memory bc even some of my good friends forget where i work, and these are people i talk to regularly..lol.
so anywho today seemed to have more retarded callers than ever.
i had a  guy not knowing where he wanted to be directed to on the phone, but yet i was somehow suppose to have a preminition and fucking know. people like that i just transfer to the manager bc i get really irritated and who knows what my big mouth will say..
then there was the guy who called saying " parts..sales" 
im like ok parts and sales are two TOTALLY DIFFFFFERENT things...different departments.
so i asked him again " sir, do you want parts or sales"?
" parts..sales"
" sir which one can i direct you to"?
" PAAAAAAARRRTSSSSS"!
" oh no excuse me sir, you dont have to yell at me, let me transfrer you"
clock reads 3:58
" im sorry sir parts is closed"
" ohh ok, thank you"
" mmhmm"
hung up*

this guy seriously fucking screamed at me when yet he didnt know what fucking department he wanted. and then its like im trying to help you make up your damn mind and you yell at me? wtf..i kinda felt ghettofied bc i was like ohhh nooo hold up excuse me..haha, but i wasnt gonna let someone talk to me like that. its funny bc ive been a receptionist for a year and in the beginning i would go home in tears, worried about people who were mean to me, stressed out. now..a year later , im like IDGAF! yell at me all you want, youre not gonna talk to me like that..lol. i seriously dont care at all, i dont have to please everyone and get all bent outta shape over bitches. i could care less, im just like uhh huhh yea, whatever..bwahaha. this job has really toughened me up in some aspect.

so then its a little before 5 and i get this real airhead girl who is just annoying the hell outta me. first off she doesnt even know who her service advisor is, secondly she said 
" oh yea he told me to pick it up at 8, 9, or like 10" 
its like " m'am we dont even close our store that late on saturdays we close at 7"..
" ohh yea thats right, he said 7"
"do you know who this he was"?
" ohh umm i think it was ruben, im not sure"
" you dont know who your service advisor is"?
" i think its ruben"

by this time im yawning, yet wanting to pull my fuckin hair out bc shes such a fucking idiot.
usually when you have late nights here the cashier and service advisors leave the paperwork along with the keys and all they have to do is pay and sign or just sign if theyve already paid and theyre good to go. service closes at 4 on saturdays and the dealership is open until 7, so unless you specifically say i cant be there before 4 can i pick it up later, its never a problem bc im here and they just give me the info. well, my best guess is she must have got her days mixed up or maybe its just her brain, bc there was no paperwork for her. so im trying to explain to her that there is nothing i can do and if there was i would do it to try and help her, but she didnt unserstand that sales and service are different departments and service gets gated up and locked after 4 and we dont have access to anything like that. her response.
" is it just like IIIMMMPOSSSIBLE to get my car bc if so im going to need like a major discount"

who the fuck says omg like major discount, this bitch.

i try and explain to this bitch again but im like fuck her im transfering her to the manager.

and thats not all.

tell me fucking why her husband who is sooo flamboyant as hell comes in to the dealership demanding his car.
listen you  american eagle boy, get it through your head there is NOTHING we can do, service is closed, and we have no control over that department. people  dont understand words sometimes, like do you understand, can you comprehend these words??
it was soooo funny bc he says,
" so youre basically telling me that your holding my car hostage"? throws his hands in the air*
" yes sir, you owe money and we are a different department, we have no control over that"
"so like i could call the cops if i wanted to"?
" go ahead, they wont do anything bc you owe money, and if you try and take your car we can call the cops on you for taking it bc actually sir, you OWE MONEY"

lol...i fucking swear. just another day at the office..ohh wait, this was not like the others. 

i love my job.

( More of my favourite Olympic people! =P )

Dean and I have been together for 300 days.
Thus making this my longest Happy relationship.
He is good for the soul.

thank you burnbystarlight

• Carrot Cake with cream cheese frosting=Bunni Belli
• Dark Chocolate cake with coffee flavored sweet Icing=Deaner Beaner
• Red Velvet cake with Cream cheese/butter icing= Queen of Hearts
• Blue cake with blue berries in the batter, blue vanilla frosting with shark gummie on top =Daddy Shark
• Pink yellow cake with bubble gum flavored frosting and a lil hello kitty on top=Hello Kitty
• Chocolate cupcakes with Mashmellow frosting and gram cracker crumbles and a little hershey bar=S'mores cupcake
• Orange Flavored cake with cream sicle frosting=Creme Sicle

some strawberries
pineapple upside down cake
key lime pie
boston creme pie
cheese cake
coffee
mocha almond
pralines and creme
mint chocolate
chocolate chip
raspberry
strawberry kiwi

word association...
cupcake
pink
little cakes
pretty
pretty little cakes
sprinkles
french/Spanish
sweet
contemporary cupcakes
fancy muffins
Diabetic comma
CuppyCake
TuTu's with Combat Boots
Leather and Lace
Caked when Baked
peu joli gâteau'
frosting
tin foil paper
coffee
cold milk..



someone help me come up with a name for my cupcake shop!

• Little Cakey Things
• Delicious delirium
• Cafe Cupcake
• Cup a Coffee CuppyCake
• Hello Cupcake
• Cups and Cakes
  

I am beyond exhausted but I am trying to stay awake so that I can sleep tonight and wake up earlier. Rob and I are both trying to regulate our sleeping schedules so that we can ready ourselves for the week at the cabin. I couldn’t be more excited about the trip but I’m already worried about having withdraws from technology. Our phones will not work out there because we will be so far from a service area and although or friend Steve is giving us his laptop I don’t think he will be able to bring it over before Sunday. I am packing tons of books though. I am almost done with Christopher Moore’s a dirty job. It has taken me forever to read because I have been so busy but it is enjoyable nonetheless. I plan to finish the last 50 pages tonight or tomorrow so I can read John Water’s crackpot or one of the vampire novels I picked up.

 

It’s been a busy week for me. Yesterday I saw my therapist and got an entirely new diagnosis. I apparently not only suffer from bi-polar disorder but I also have Borderline personality disorder. Monday we were given symptom checklists in our peer to peer class and after going over all of the symptoms I have I brought the sheet in to my therapist. I told her that I had checked all the symptoms on the borderline personality sheet and that is when she told me that she has me listed as a borderline on her paperwork as well. I wish doctors would tell their patients things like this. Mental illness is frustrating. I am now glad that I attend the peer-to-peer class because if I gained one thing I feel that I now have a bit more information than I started out with and it’s only the beginning. One of the telltale signs that a person has Borderline personality disorders is the urge to self mutilate and we also have a lot of problems respecting boundaries. Borderline is very similar to bi-polar disorder because there is also rapid mood swings. I was  told that I should get back in the habit of journaling daily and keeping a mood journal. I’m a little nervous because my therapist asked me if Rob could come to the next meeting because it would help to get his prospective about how I deal with my emotions and my anger more specifically. We’ll see how that turns out.

I made a wish list for what I think I need to start my cupcake business.
Feel free to send some of this my way and I will figure out a way to send you
cupcakes of your choice.

Serioulsy though,
I am ready to make this start happening!

WE GOT OUR FIRST OLYMPIC MEDAL IN 48 YEARS! XD

I think that got me a lot more excited than National Day did. =P

Way to go, Table Tennis babes! =D


( My favourite people from the Olympics! ^_^ )

"I dont love you anymore dear."