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the old ball and chain
Posted on 2008.07.20 at 10:46Current Mood:
cranky
Current Music: bad day - daniel powter
i've decided that if i had the self control and determination - that i would go all anorexic (ala pre baby nicole ritchie)
i know a statement like that just screams for help and expensive therapy sessions, but really i am so so tired of the way i look currently. yeah sure i know, i'm only like twenty five pounds overweight for my body type and height ... blah blah blah
facts and reason mean nothing when you're standing next to a gorgeous boyfriend who weighs like, air. or when i know that in a mere month i'm supposed to go down and meet his friends and family back home
i mean
michael comes from park city utah. this is like, upper class people! forgive me for sounding like a wyoming native.
park city is where the rich and beautiful go to play in the snow and watch crappy indie flicks during sundance. and i'm going to look so out of place ... the very idea is horrifying. especially meeting all of michael's high school and college friends, who look like extras on the set of one tree hill.
... his ex girlfriend, who he is still great friends with - looks like a fuller lipped rachel bilson clone. so unfair
and yeah i know that i have the personality to keep him and make him happy, i'm a pretty cool female.
but i think i'd be that much cooler and more confident if i weighed about 120
seriously i have everything in the world to make me happy. i have aforementioned mr. perfect by my side to love and adore me. i have a brilliant little boy, a house, two cars, rolling balls of kitten fluff and foster dogs ...
and yet
i have these crazy dominating thoughts like 'i wish i could be locked in a room with no food for a few weeks'
ummm, hello insanity? thy name is brandylyn
i just want my outward appearance to match everything else, my blessings and personality traits
boo hissssss
i know a statement like that just screams for help and expensive therapy sessions, but really i am so so tired of the way i look currently. yeah sure i know, i'm only like twenty five pounds overweight for my body type and height ... blah blah blah
facts and reason mean nothing when you're standing next to a gorgeous boyfriend who weighs like, air. or when i know that in a mere month i'm supposed to go down and meet his friends and family back home
i mean
michael comes from park city utah. this is like, upper class people! forgive me for sounding like a wyoming native.
park city is where the rich and beautiful go to play in the snow and watch crappy indie flicks during sundance. and i'm going to look so out of place ... the very idea is horrifying. especially meeting all of michael's high school and college friends, who look like extras on the set of one tree hill.
... his ex girlfriend, who he is still great friends with - looks like a fuller lipped rachel bilson clone. so unfair
and yeah i know that i have the personality to keep him and make him happy, i'm a pretty cool female.
but i think i'd be that much cooler and more confident if i weighed about 120
seriously i have everything in the world to make me happy. i have aforementioned mr. perfect by my side to love and adore me. i have a brilliant little boy, a house, two cars, rolling balls of kitten fluff and foster dogs ...
and yet
i have these crazy dominating thoughts like 'i wish i could be locked in a room with no food for a few weeks'
ummm, hello insanity? thy name is brandylyn
i just want my outward appearance to match everything else, my blessings and personality traits
boo hissssss